Couples Therapy
You may be seeking couples counseling because your marriage is in crisis, or perhaps you wish to see a therapist because you feel "stuck" as a couple and want to try something different to improve things. With divorce rates at over 50% and with 87% of couples going into crisis after the birth of their first child, couples counseling is neither uncommon nor a last resort for many people. Many couples use counseling to help maintain the health of their relationship over the course of a lifetime.
My Philosophy
I believe:
- All long-term relationships have unique challenges that can feel insurmountable.
- Relationship challenges often provide opportunities for growth, learning and self-knowledge that are not available in other lifestyles.
- There are concrete skills and tools that you can learn to break the frustrating patterns you and your partner often feel stuck in.
- Learning how to repair damage caused by the conflict in your relationship is essential.
- Gaining insight into your strengths and vulnerabilities as a couple, and identifying the origin of these dynamics can help facilitate changes and connection that previously have not felt possible.
- Relationships need to be nurtured. It is essential to cultivate and create opportunities to connect, play and relax as a couple.
"My husband and I went to Kerry for marriage counseling. Having not been to a counselor before, I didn't know what to expect. We both felt that Kerry was totally neutral and saw both of our points of view. I felt like we were sitting with a good friend, who truly cared for us. Kerry creates a very comfortable environment - I'd even call her office cozy! My husband and I are glad that we made the effort to meet with her, and I can say that, as a result, we see a great change in our marriage."
How We Will Approach Counseling
All couples receive a suite of services as part of our work together, these include:
- A comprehensive assessment of your relationship's strengths, struggles and challenges.
- A personalized treatment plan geared towards stabilizing your relationship, healing, and preventing future relapses.
- Ninety minute therapy sessions for traditional couples therapy/ four to six hour therapy sessions for marathon therapy clients.
FAQ
- Is there anything we can do before seeing you?
- Yes. There are several excellent tools in both book and CD format that I strongly encourage people to look into as part our work together. It isn't required that you use these materials, but a lot of my clients find them helpful, especially as a supplement to the work we will be doing in couples therapy. Please see my Resources page for additional information.
- How long does couples therapy take?
- This varies from couple to couple. I recommend that people make a commitment of doing at least 12 sessions (most people come for 15-20 sessions, with the frequency that we meet decreasing as things improve). All couples sessions are 90 minutes long. My reason for this is that 50 minutes is long enough to open "Pandora's Box" but not long enough to close it. You will be amazed at how much more can be accomplished with an extra 30 minutes in a session.
- What is your theoretical approach?
- While my work is eclectic, it is largely informed by the work of John and Julie Gottman, at The Gottman Institute in Seattle, WA with whom I have pursued studies. In addition, I also draw on the knowledge and techniques of David Snarch (Passionate Marriage) and Susan Johnson (Emotionally Focused Therapy), all of who are renowned for their contributions to the field of couples therapy, and who have developed some of the most well researched and successful techniques in the treatment of relationship distress. More information can be found about each of these approaches under Links and Resources.