Eric Friedland-Kays, MSW, MIA
he/him
Clinical Lead–Men’s Relationship Services
“I take life seriously—and with humor. I believe each of us has the possibility of connecting more deeply with ourselves and with those we love. My work is grounded in integrity, kindness, curiosity, and choice. I see vulnerability and intimacy not as weaknesses, but as courageous pathways toward healing, transformation, and a more vibrant, unfolding life.”
Eric has been a devoted psychotherapist and clinician since 2003, helping people navigate conflict, trauma, life transitions, and the complexities of intimate relationships. Alongside his work with couples, he has a particular interest in working with men in relationships — through couples therapy, individual therapy, and men’s groups — helping them cultivate greater self-awareness, emotional resilience, and deeper connection with the people they love. He holds a Master of Social Work and a Master of Arts in Intercultural Non-profit Management. He has been a trainer and consultant with Deb Dana’s Rhythm of Regulation for several years, teaching polyvagal theory to clinicians around the world. His mental health work integrates polyvagal-informed therapy, parts work, contemplative psychotherapy, and body-based awareness to help individuals move from protection toward connection.
Outside the therapy room, Eric finds nourishment in meditation, martial arts, music, and time in nature. These practices continue to shape his understanding of resilience, presence, and relationships. Living in Japan for five years in the 1990s deepened his appreciation for culture, perspective, and the many ways people make meaning together. Since 1999, he has lived and worked in Western Massachusetts, where he resides with his wife and daughter, cultivating both self-reliance and a beloved community.
Services: Eric provides couples therapy in person at our Northampton center and online throughout Massachusetts. He has a particular interest in working with men in relationships through couples therapy, individual therapy, and men’s groups, helping them cultivate greater self-awareness, emotional resilience, and deeper connection with the people they love. Services are offered in English.
Ask me about: How your nervous system shapes your relationships; why conflict often has good intentions beneath it; meditation, tai chi, music, juggling, frisbee, and the surprising places we find wisdom; and what I mean when I suggest, “Love moves the fence.”
Favorite Quote: “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because the world needs people who have come alive.” Howard Thurman
Favorite Kind of Couples: I especially enjoy working with couples and individuals who are willing to be curious (even when things are hard), take responsibility for their own growth, and seek greater depth and richness in themselves and their relationships. I believe healthy relationships are not built by avoiding difficulty, but by learning how to meet one another with greater honesty, compassion, and courage. Accompanying individuals and couples as they discover new ways of loving themselves and one another is a tremendous privilege and joy.
Advanced Training
Gottman Method Couples Therapy, Levels I & II
Certified Polyvagal Theory Trainer – Deb Dana’s Rhythm of Regulation
Psychosynthesis Therapy, Levels I–III
Contemplative Psychotherapy
Open Dialogue Family and Group Therapy
Motivational Interviewing
Professional Leadership
Trainer and consultant with Deb Dana’s Rhythm of Regulation
Taught Deb Dana’s six-month Rhythm of Regulation training to clinicians and helping professionals internationally
Intensive psychotherapist and senior clinician with multidisciplinary clinical teams since 2003