Couples Therapy for One
What is Couples Therapy for One?
Even if your partner refuses to go to couples therapy or make significant changes, the reality is that while it takes two to make a relationship work, it just takes one to get the ball rolling. Most people don’t realize the dramatic impact they can have on their relationships just by improving how they show up for (and think about) conflict, misunderstandings, and gridlock.
Many habits that create healthy relationships are not couple habits but individual habits. Many of these habits happen internally in how you perceive, understand, and act during your more challenging relationship moments. Abilities that can radically improve your relationship, like the willingness to compromise and be flexible, the ability to let go of negative emotions and shift to more constructive ones, and the courage to rock the boat when things aren’t right, are skills that you likely already have but don’t know how to harness.
For example, most of us can pluck a string, but it does not mean we can play the guitar. To play the guitar, we need to pick up the instrument daily, master a basic repertoire of notes and chords, build up a tolerance to making mediocre music, and break songs down into small and learnable bits. It’s the same with communication skills.
Couples Therapy for One gives you step-by-step guidance on bringing your best and most skillful self to your worst relationship moments. We support you by giving you the tools and helping you with practice because we believe the most powerful thing you can do to get your partner to treat you well is to develop the ability to react effectively when your partner is difficult.
How is Couples Therapy for One different from individual therapy?
The individual therapist’s job is to have the individual’s back. In Couples Therapy for One, it’s the therapist’s job to prioritize the relationship as much as the individual. Your therapist helps you emphasize the We as much as the Me and guides you in identifying blindspots and biases. When your relationship is in crisis, the last thing you need is a therapist siding with you to a fault or lacking insight into how you might be making matters worse.
Couples therapy for one versus couples therapy: Which is best for relationship problems?
In a perfect world, everyone would get support with individual challenges and relationship problems. But sometimes circumstances are such that one person is being more difficult, refusing to accept influence or attend couples therapy. Couples Therapy for One, is often the best and only option in situations like this. With an unreasonable partner, the ability to stand up for yourself without putting your partner down is not optional. Couples Therapy for One can also be a fantastic option if you are in couples therapy and want to do some fine-tuning and address personal difficulties that impact your relationship(s).
How do I choose a therapist to support me and my relationship?
The best way to find a therapist who can support you and your relationship is to see a therapist specializing in couples therapy and relationship wellness. Ideally, this therapist will also have training in evidence-informed methods like PEXT and the Gottman Method because these approaches teach tools that an individual can master independently of their partner’s participation or willingness.
In Couples Therapy for One, we can teach you how to:
- Become influential where previously you were ineffective.
- Set boundaries skillfully.
- Master the critical art of repair.
- Stop drawing invisible lines in the sand and learn how to honor core promises and values you’ve identified for yourself.
- Acquire relationship skills that will translate and benefit you in all areas of love and life, including relationships with your children, friends, family members, and colleagues.
At NCCT, we understand what it’s like to be overwhelmed, scared, or confused. To genuinely not know which way is forward and which way is back. We believe the most significant investment you can make is one where you nurture your heart, your health, and your partnership. Ultimately, you don’t need to know if you will do couples therapy for one or two; you don’t need to decide on a private retreat or online class; you only need to CONTACT US and schedule your free initial consultation. We promise we will support you from there.