Should I stay, or should I go now? If I go, there will be trouble. And if I stay, it will be double. The Clash lead vocalist Mick Jones sings these words in the iconic 1981 punk rock song, "Should I Stay or Should I Go." It's the epitome of relationship limbo hell...
Imagine a car wedged up on a curb with its tires elevated off the ground, unable to get traction to move in either direction. The engine revs, and the wheels spin, but the car doesn't move. It's stuck. In the same way, we can get stuck in our relationships when we're...
How do two people who love each other and build a life together, fall apart? Are there ways we can predict marital demise and vulnerability to divorce? Of equal importance, how might couples and individuals struggling with gridlock, hopelessness, and betrayal shift...
Couples seek therapy for a variety of reasons: they’re fighting too much, not having sex enough, or there’s been an affair. Yet the most common reason couples come to therapy, what we call the “presenting issue,” is to save their marriage. A Google search of “how to...
Psychologists Drs. John and Julie Gottman of The Gottman Institute separate couples into two major groups: the “masters” and the “disasters.” Masters remain happily together, while disasters either break up or are chronically unhappy. In Masters of Love, couples share...
If the pandemic has taught us anything, it’s this – humans need each other. Even those of us who enjoy alone time and appreciate life’s current slower-paced version will agree, being confined to a mere handful of face-to-face connections 24 hours a day, seven days a week, is not optimal.
There is a thin line between sacrificing a lamb and striking a deal with the Devil. We give up whole parts of ourselves to belong in our families. In turn, for those of us who dare to come home to ourselves, we risk losing our family and severing the ties that bind us.
We can explore the first presidential debate between Biden and Trump from a multitude of angles. We can analyze it from the vantage point of history, political science, or social justice. We can fact check it or hone in on themes. We can comment based on our limited perspectives, personal values, and agendas.
I can barely move my lips — they’re all tremble; this is what happens when you live in a cage — everything atrophies, even the delicate flesh of your mouth. The rusty cell door stands ajar without your knowing it. The key is in your back pocket, and you sit there for years.
Scan the cover of any tabloid magazine while waiting in line at the grocery store and you’ll probably see advice for how to be better at foreplay or how to make your partner orgasm, but you probably won’t see anything about what comes after sex—a period psychologists call the “sexual afterglow.”
Keeping promises indeed builds trust and is essential. But there are many types of promises. Some sworn out loud, pinkies crossed, blood bonded — others dwell in the spaces between words and live out their days as acts: Devotion, steadfastness, and presence, to name a few.
Discovering an affair can be a painful and confusing experience. Discovering amid a global pandemic can be even worse. And if you’ve been cheated on before, it can trigger an emotional response characteristic of PTSD.
I recently had the pleasure of interviewing the newest member of our NCCT team, Kasia Novak, a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT), who brings a bounty of insight on the intersection of family systems and couples therapy.
If you and your partner have a sexual desire discrepancy (SDD), a term psychologists use to describe when one person wants sex more frequently than the other, you’re not alone.
Here I sit, on the cusp of Father’s Day, feeling both with and without Father — while the earth has a fever and pirates run amuck.
Amid this confusing, heartbreaking, and unsettling time, we are now, as a nation, face-to-face with another enemy. One that has been with us far longer than the coronavirus or stay-at-home order.
If you or your partner has ADHD, you may be experiencing an extra layer of challenge. With 8.1% of American adults diagnosed with ADHD, it’s no surprise that relationships can take a hit. Whether you are the person with ADHD or love someone who has the diagnosis, ADHD affects you both in profound, understandable, and treatable ways.
When my daughter was two, she found a bumblebee lying on our stone pathway. It was late August in New England – when gold-trimmed monarch cocoons dangle under milkweed, and sleeping pompoms of woolly bear caterpillars nestle in leaves.
COVID-19 is unique in that it is simultaneously resulting in trauma to us collectively, and to many of us as individuals in how we are hit directly by it. It’s poking at grief, gratitude, and guilt concurrently. And because the ramifications of it are still in process, the cumulative losses and gains are immeasurable and unknown.
What happens when you navigate painful emotions differently than your partner? David Kessler, author and grief expert, states that couples don’t divorce because of insurmountable hardships or loss, couples divorce because they judge each other’s grief.