What Can I Do Instead of Couples Therapy (Here’s an Option)

Contrary to what many marriage therapists will tell you, couples therapy is not rocket science.

In my couples therapy fantasies, everyone would attend couples therapy for preventative and wellness care. We’d see couples for a quick tune-up and send them on their way. Marriages on the cusp of catastrophe or locked in years of gridlock and loneliness would be a rare occurrence. We’d be more like primary care physicians who emphasize wellness, rather than cardiologists who perform open-heart surgery.

But those are my fantasies, not reality.

The reality is that from the onset of a problem, the average couple waits six years to seek marriage counseling. Everyday relationship challenges, such as who does the dishes (and pays the bills, and makes the doctor’s appointments, and so on), metastasize. Cracks turn into chasms, and trust erodes. Love rarely dies from one swift blow. More often it fades away—think death by a thousand cuts—over the years.

When the pandemic struck, it sparked a nationwide mental health crisis, and this crisis wasn’t limited to individuals; it deeply affected families and couples as well. People calling NCCT frequently burst into tears at the news that we had no openings and that the wait for marriage therapy was indefinitely long.

While this is no longer the case (we do have openings, including reduced-fee sessions), the residual and continual stressors couples face are real. This is because we often don’t realize the full impact of something until we experience its aftershocks. Many of us are still navigating the residual effects of how COVID shaped our finances, our children, our health, and our lives.

On a positive note, we’re more adept at using alternative ways of learning and seeking help. Digital classes, informative webinars, and online therapy are the norm, not the exception. This leads me to Crisis to Connected, my signature online course designed to help couples get unstuck and move beyond gridlock.

It’s been four years since I first launched C2C, and I can honestly say that it continues to improve every time I teach it. For some couples, it’s an even better alternative than couples therapy (and, in many cases, attending both is the best).

Here’s why:

C2C is Interactive

As a relationship expert, I designed C2C to be interactive because you need a relationship with me to trust me. From my experience, couples who trust me are more willing to do the hard work to improve their relationships. It’s my job to earn your trust, and I achieve that by showing up wholeheartedly with my humanity, skills, humor, knowledge, and passion for helping people love well. Additionally, my relationship with you enables me to create the best digital class possible by staying attuned to your unique needs and circumstances. The last thing I want is for C2C to be another cookie-cutter online class, leaving you feeling alone during an already lonely time. I built C2C to be a pillar of support, with me as your guide as you navigate the class materials and exercises.

Additionally, I’ve designed each of the seven modules to be released weekly, one at a time. Each week, I dedicate a third of the 90-minute class to live Q&A. Plus, I utilize a great tool called VideoAsk. Videoask lets you send me a message through video, audio, or text, and I can respond the same way. The communication is “asynchronous,” so my responses are personalized, and there’s a conversational flow. Using Videoask, I provide extra relationship coaching related to the weekly modules and give feedback on the next steps.

C2C is Customizable

Some of us learn visually, while others prefer audio. Some like to dive deep (I’m in that camp), while others prefer to sample or select what they need and disregard the rest. That’s why I built C2C to serve a variety of people, styles, and needs. Whether you are flying solo because a reluctant partner refuses to attend couples therapy or you want specific guidance in recovering from an affair, the class offers modules, resources, and tools to help you. You can take what you need and save the rest for later.

Lifetime Access

Nothing frustrates me more than paying for a class only to discover that I have access for three months before it expires! Once you pay for C2C, you get lifetime access, including videos, modules, homework, resources, worksheets, and a free copy of Developing Habits for Relationship Success, Brent Atkinson’s groundbreaking book on ending gridlock and empowering yourself (and your partner) to get unstuck and heal from betrayals.

C2C is Affordable

I designed C2C to be affordable. Couples therapy, even with insurance benefits, can cost thousands of dollars, and private retreats—due to the skill and time involved— typically start at $3500. C2C includes everything you’d get from a year’s worth of therapy or private intensives with me. Plus, the cost of a failed marriage is immeasurable. C2C is $975, and it covers everything: 7 Modules, Videoask coaching support throughout the course, The Ultimate C2C Relationship Resource Library, a personalized copy of Developing Habits for Relationship Success, Worksheets, Exercises, Downloads, and more.

C2C Emphasizes Quality Over Quantity

There is a reason I only offer C2C once a year; it’s the same reason I don’t have a collection of couples therapists scattered all over the US. It takes years for me to train a solid couples therapist. NCCT features a select group of exceptional relationship experts we’ve chosen based on talent, intelligence, life experience, and a passion for helping couples through difficult times.

The reality is, if I produced C2C for the general public, I wouldn’t be able to provide much of what makes it special—such as supplemental relationship coaching via VideoAsk and Atkinson’s Developing Habits for Relationship Success workbook. Most importantly, I wouldn’t have the chance to get to know you personally or tailor each class to your specific needs and requests.

C2C is Private

When your relationship is struggling or in crisis, you feel vulnerable. Even if you don’t succumb to the stigma inherent in a culture that romanticizes couplehood, it’s understandable to need privacy while working through difficult times; to want to avoid unnecessary suffering from the anxiety of bumping into a neighbor or colleague virtually. Because of this, I’ve built C2C to offer you complete anonymity. You can see me, interact with me, and join discussions, but you have the option to keep your face and name confidential, as well as any correspondence we share. While C2C is a relationship class, I treat it with the same privacy standards I apply to all healthcare information—not because I have to, but because I understand that your privacy is vital.

(Most importantly) C2C is Hopeful

I believe that couples therapy is not rocket science; that the field of marriage therapy sometimes takes itself too seriously and underestimates the power and potential inherent in every individual and, in turn, every couple.

With the proper tools, knowledge, and practice, you can have sparks flying from your fingertips that are game-changing in love, and you never have to step into a couples therapist’s office to achieve this when you’re committed to the work. Relationship wellness is doable, and C2C is the most comprehensive roadmap if you are stuck in relationship-limbo-hell or crisis. That’s why I have C2C students offering testimonials like:

“This online course resulted in more breakthroughs in understanding my partner than years of therapy had previously accomplished.”

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Are you unsure whether to stay or leave your marriage? Do you feel like you’ve tried everything but still feel stuck in gridlock? Join me for my free webinar, Is My Marriage Worth Saving? I will be offering it on three different dates in the coming weeks and will be available to answer all of your questions, including options for working with me.